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Having sex is one thing, but talking about it is something else. How do you make your naughtiest fantasies known? The language of love knows some beautiful euphemisms. Here is a small anthology from our perspective. Makes things easier.

Dick-tionary part 1: guide to escort talk

31 May 2016

Parlez-vous Français?
Shameless stereotyping or not, all those geographical position names are very clear:

French: oral, preferably both at the same time, also known as 69;
Greek: anal sex with a lovely pair of buttocks;
English: a hardy spanking;
Russian/Spanish: between her breasts, also known as sex on the balcony, fun in combination with French, see above;
Italian: under a (well shaved) armpit, less fun in combination with French;
Florentine: she uses her thumb and index finger as a cock ring and increases the pressure;
Swedish: why make it difficult when it could be easy, he’s on the bottom, she’s on top, sideways. Great for in the sauna.

Watersports
A different word for water ballet or golden shower or pee sex. Sometimes it’s enough to see an escort sitting on the toilet to get staggeringly excited. Sometimes it takes a bit more. This is fairly naughty and not every escort’s ‘cup of tea’. So email us. Or call directly if you can’t hold it in any longer.

Body2Body-massage
As opposed to most massages, your escort won’t just use her hands, but her whole body for this one. It is a grand feast of breasts, belly, buttocks, and legs that fills you with a warm, happy feeling. The excitement will have to be kept in check, because massage oil doesn’t go together with safe sex. So jump in a (cold) shower before you continue.

Kissing, making out, frenching
Even with real girlfriends and wives, kissing isn’t a given. So don’t necessarily expect a passionate kissing session with your favorite escort, not even with a Girlfriend Experience. Good kissing is almost as exclusive as love itself. No matter how good, you can’t buy it. It is a question of a click, chemistry, luck, and a big old tube of toothpaste. So make yourself irresistible, then you may make a chance, maybe.
Fifty shades of spank
BDSM or bondage is a game of trust. One Night Love only plays it safe, like most escort agencies. With us, you won’t find any deer-leather whips or bright pink ball gags. Of course, we’ll spank you if you’ve been naughty, or tease you with a feather at most. Some escorts even like getting lightly spanked, but only if they trust you. And trust takes time. If you’re really looking for SM, then find an experienced BDSM agency.

Role-play
Are you bored with your own life as an office clerk or stockbroker? Crawl into the shoes of your favorite hero. You James Bond, her Bond Girl. You the Crimson Bolt, her Hit Girl. You Frodo, her Gollem. You Hannibal, her Clarice. Whom- or whatever you want to be, get your clipboard and act out your fantasies. Popular roles: teacher & student; nurse & patient; two strangers in a bar; tip: there is room service! Or she’s the hotel maid and has come to clean the room!

Girlfriend Experience
Also a sort of role-play: she pretends to find your new mustache incredibly irresistible and is genuinely interested in your stamp collection. She listens attentively and holds your hand. A little like Sasha Grey in the movie by the same name, but then with less haute couture lingerie and a bit more action.

Pornstar Experience
Forget about your stamp collection, put it away in a safe place because now it’s gonna get really wild. All of your favorite movies on your hard drive will pale in comparison to what you’re going to experience now in real life. Moaning and screaming, curling lips, arched back, a smack on your behind, neon lipstick, and tiger print thongs, no bells or whistles are too crazy.


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